Christmas

Christmas in Japan is interesting. Similar to Western Christmas (or “real” Christmas) on the surface, but not quite right. For one, Japanese people don’t really celebrate Christmas. They recognize the holiday, but don’t really observe it. There are very few Japanese Christians. Most of the people here are Shinto or Buddhist or a combination of the two. So, everything they know about Christmas comes through American corporations and pop-culture. Not surprisingly, this leaves the shell of Christmas – the consumer side of it (arguably the most important side these days) – without the whole “true meaning of Christmas” stuff.

So, what do they do? Well, they put up decorations. They love them. You can see Christmas decorations all over – cities put up lights (sometimes even Christmas trees), shopping centers are heavily decorated (usually with familiar Christmas tunes piped over the PA), and a surprising number of home-owners decorate their houses. Last Thursday, I went with my Japanese teacher to see the “illumination” in Nishijima (a nearby town). It turns out, around Christmas time, all the residents along a very narrow side street in Nishijima go all-out with Christmas decorations. Walking along the street, I saw nary a house that wasn’t decorated. Some even had little music box-type-things on sensors, so as you walked by them, Christmas music started to play. It almost felt like being back in America – except for a few giveaways – the narrow street, Japanese houses, and Japanese characters/things (ie. Hello Kitty in a Santa outfit, Doraimon in a Santa outfit, or Santas climbing a small replica of Tokyo Tower).

So, you’ll see Christmas decorations, hear Christmas music, see Christmas themed commercials, and experience discounted merchandise (Christmas sales). What won’t you see? For one, any reference whatsoever to Jesus. He does not make an appearance during Japanese Christmas. Santa, you’ll see plenty of him, but not Jesus. He is absent on his birthday. There are some urban legends going around that the Japanese sometimes confuse Santa for Jesus in the midst of the holiday season. I’ve heard rumors of nativity scenes with either Santa (somehow) in the manger or standing in for any number of major characters (notably the three kings/wisemen – I forget what they are). I’ve also heard of manger scenes where all the iconic figures are replaced with characters more recognizable to the Japanese – Micky Mouse, Hello Kitty, etc. Perhaps the most ridiculous rumor I’ve heard (but I wouldn’t totally put it past the Japanese to do this) is some department store or homeowner putting up an image of Santa on the cross. (The accounts of this one are totally inconsistent – in Tokyo, in Osaka, a little figurine, a lifesize mannequin, in the 60’s, ten years ago, last year, etc. – further calling its reality into question.) Considering Japan, these rumors are not so strange. Japanese people have little concept of religions outside of Buddhism (which even the average Japanese person seems to know little about). On Friday, at my bonenkai (big end of year party where everyone drinks and lets their hair down – I was goaded into singing an “English song” at karaoke – I did “Pinball Wizard” and was complimented on being able to sing the “difficult English” – everyone drank, but only the gym teacher was ridiculously looped – he was dancing around and shaking his butt during karaoke – anyway…), I had to explain to my vice-principal that Judaism is different from Christianity (after he asked why I didn’t celebrate Christmas, after he asked how I celebrated Christmas in America – he got a kick out of the “going to the movies/eating Chinese food” tradition, though). So, I gave him a brief (semi-drunken) version of the history of Western religion. He had had no idea.

Also, because it is solely a consumer holiday (no religious significance or days off), non of the whole “true spirit of Christmas” stuff exists in Japan – people don’t decorate the inside of their houses, they don’t put up trees, they don’t gather as a family for a celebration, they don’t give thanks for all the great stuff they have, they don’t even give gifts to the children. In fact, it’s more like Valentines Day. Couples get together, take romantic strolls under the Christmas lights, exchange gifts, and then go to love hotels.

Perhaps the most interesting part of Christmas in Japan is not what’s left out, but what has been added – specifically, the traditional Christmas meal – fried chicken. A little background information. One of the most successful American companies ever to do business in Japan (aside from Coca-Cola and McDonald’s) is KFC. Back in the 60’s and 70’s, they were able to change their business model just enough so that it fit into Japanese society. I won’t go into details (mostly because I don’t know them), but their major contribution was convincing Japan that Americans eat Kentucky Fried Chicken on Christmas and that they should too. So, in Japan, on Christmas and a few days before, the lines at KFC are enormous as many Japanese people purchase their “traditional” Christmas meals – fried chicken. Even at school, on the last day of classes, we had a special “Christmas menu” complete with fried chicken. Way to go, KFC.

As for how I spent my Christmas (sadly without movies and Chinese food), I went to an Australian style Christmas barbeque hosted by another JET, and ate grilled burgers, cold pasta salad, and other warm-weather foods. Christmas is summertime in Australia, you know.

Kobe

Last weekend was a long weekend (it was the Emperor’s birthday on Sunday, so Monday was a “substitute holiday”). So, I went down to Kobe to visit my roommate from the Tokyo orientation back in July. I took the Shinkansen – the bullet train – to get down there. It was great – really easy to get around, plenty of legroom, and the thing moves so fast. The only problem is that its really expensive. About a hundred dollars each way. Yikes.

At the JET orientations, when they say, “every situation is different” they really mean it. The Kobe JETs have it very different from Yamanashi JETs. I’m a bit jealous. First off, Kobe is a real city, with people and shopping and movie theaters and buildings – not like Kofu. Almost all the Kobe JETs live in one apartment complex on the outskirts of the city – only a twenty-five minute train ride from downtown. Considering that the nearest “city” to me (Kofu) is a fifty minute train ride, that’s pretty great. Plus, all the JETs live right near each other! I’m a bit jealous.

Kobe itself is an interesting city. In 1995, a monster 7.9 earthquake flattened the downtown area. Five thousand people were killed and almost all the buildings destroyed. Today, there’s no sign that there ever was an earthquake (except for a very depressing “Earthquake Museum”). The entire city was pretty much immediately and totally rebuilt. Because of the earthquake, there are no real historic sites in Kobe (they were smashed), so they city doesn’t hold much as a tourist destination. It is, however, a really vibrant place. When the city was rebuilt, it seems the most important priority was shops and restaurants. The city is absolutely full of them. Especially around Christmas time (with all the sales) the place was bustling – so busy – almost New York level. Also, a lot of young people have moved into the city since the disaster, so there’s an active nightlife too.

All in all, Kobe isn’t that interesting as a cultural destination, but it seems like a fun and convenient place to live. And a cool place to go party, if you don’t mind spending two hundred dollars for a round trip ticket.

Winter Concert

So, I just got back from what I assume was our school’s winter concert. Instead of having classes in the afternoon, everyone went down to the Cultural Hall (about a 15 min. drive from the school) for a concert. The brass band performed, and all the classes did at least one choral number. Even the teachers went up for a choral performance.

The whole thing was pretty typical (at the end, the whole school did their standard “Hallelujah” – just as weird the second time). The brass band was pretty good, but largely out of tune. The choirs were surprisingly good. The teachers sucked in their rendition of (the Japanese version of) “Do You Hear the People Sing?” from Les Mis. Yeah… pretty bad. But that didn’t stop certain enthusiastic (and out of tune) teachers from belting as loud as they could. The kids I was sitting near could barely contain themselves – trying to hide their red faces and not draw attention to the fact they they’re cracking up. Kae said that last year’s teachers’ performance was worse. “Terrible” she described it. I can’t imagine…

Perhaps the best part of the afternoon was an unintentionally comical rendition of “Oh Happy Day.” Who’s seen “Sister Act” (I forget if it was 1 or 2 – maybe Cetel can help me out…)? You know the part where they sing that song, and its awesome – full of emotion and soul and talent? Now picture thirteen Japanese girls (in their blue sailor outfits) standing in a row, trying to sing the same song. They all were rocking from side to side (not in a natural “I’m singing gospel!” way, but in a forced “my teacher told us this is what black people do when they sing gospel” kind of way) and slapping their right leg to keep time (they all did the same thing – slap the right leg with the right hand). The slapping was just as awkward and forced as the rocking. Some were too shy to really commit to the slapping and the rocking. Others slapped and rocked as if they possibly had maybe seen that scene from Sister Act (1 or 2), but lacked the natural rhythm to be able to pull it off. I bit my finger to keep from audibly laughing. Apparently, you cannot teach “soul” as you would “multiplication tables” or “vocab words”. It cannot be learned through practice and repetition. Involuntary comedy, however, can be achieved in this way.

After the concert was over (did I mention I was handed a camera halfway through and told to “cameraman”) and the closing ceremonies concluded (got to have opening and closing ceremonies), some old lady that I’ve never seen before took the stage. She essentially gave a speech whereby she went through each performed song and said something along the lines of “wonderful”, and she praised the students for their hard work. This would have been a lovely gesture had it only taken a few minutes – maybe, five at the most. But, it went on for (I kid you not) twenty-five minutes. The teacher sitting next to me fell asleep.

Exam Day

Today, the kids had their big term exams (all the material since summer vacation ended in September) in all their classes. Once the English test was over, Kae had me grade the free-writing portion of all the 9th graders’ tests. Oh boy… These kids’ written English isn’t worth beans.

Out of all the tests I graded, despite their use of simple grammar over four sentences, not one student had a perfect paper. Not one. Mistakes ranged from a few left-out articles and misspelled words (only a few students) to leaving the entire section blank (several more than the former group). I would expect it from the seventh graders, but these are the kids that have been formally studying English for almost three years.

Of the kids who actually wrote something, a large percentage constructed sentences that were completely incomprehensible. For instance: “Mt. Fuji is know how you very excited.” and “Mochi is like math.” (I think the later is actually supposed to read “I like mochi very much”, but the student not only changed the direct object to the subject and confused the verb, but also misspelled “much” as “math”. I have no idea what the first sentence is supposed to mean.)

Part of the problem (aside from the zero emphasis on using words to form original thoughts in English language education) is that bad grades end up meaning very little (at least for the kids who get them). Let me explain. First, the Japanese do not fail students. No matter how badly a student does in class, they will always move up to the next grade. No one gets held back. Second, the population of small towns (like mine) is shrinking. Therefore, high schools are getting less competitive (the kids in Japan need to apply to high schools like Americans apply to college). While the very best high schools are still difficult to get into (the ones in Kofu), the local high schools (Minobu High School, for example) are willing to take anyone in order to increase enrollment. So, the kids at the top of the class want to do well in order to stay competitive for the best high schools. But, for the kids at the bottom of the class, there’s zero disincentive for getting bad grades. Those kids that never bothered to study English (either because of stupidity or laziness) can afford to leave most of their English term exams blank. They’ll be passed to the next grade even with 0%. In the past, having the grades to get into a decent high school were motive enough for students to work hard, but now, those schools that used to be selective will take anyone. No wonder the local high school ALT complains that her kids are stupid…

Anyway… Because of the testing there were no classes today, and therefore, nothing for me to do (except, of course, a half-hour of paper grading). So, I spent most of the day learning a bunch of Japanese adjectives. By far the most useful: tsumaranaina – boring. As in: Kyo wa tsumaranaina hi deshita.

The Japanese Don't Trust Foreigners

So, my internet situation is still not squared away. Mr. Yamada stopped by the school today to tell me about the most recent problem. It seems that my internet provider can’t figure out how to bill me (even though they’ve already sent me one bill – in September - which I payed promptly, I might add).

I had asked Yamada (in August) if I could pay through my bank ATM card – that way the provider could just extract their payment without me having to worry about it. He finally got back to me (the guy’s a moron). “No” was the answer. They could only do that with a debit card – one that had a Visa logo on it, or something. Thing is, I asked the bank for a debit card when I set up my account. They wouldn’t give it to me – because I’m a foreigner. Turns out, they don’t trust foreigners with debit cards (I guess because all foreigners are irresponsible and will overdraw their accounts).

But the internet provider doesn’t want to send me bills either – because I’m a foreigner. Turns out, they don’t trust foreigners with bills (I guess because all foreigners are irresponsible and won’t pay them on time, if at all). They would rather directly withdraw the money themselves – through a debit card. How stupidly ironic. A catch-22 of distrust. If only the bank could talk to the internet provider… Maybe then they could coordinate their racism toward something other than pissing me off.

Samui ne!

Its cold. Very cold. Its not that Japan is so cold – not at all. In my town, its about the same temperature it is back in Jersey, and its nowhere near as cold as it is in Chicago. So why am I complaining about the cold – especially after having spent four (relatively) complain-free winters in Chicago? Well, its actually not that cold – outside. Outside its around fifty – which I consider really nice. Almost ideal actually. The thing is, it’s the same temperature inside as well.

The Japanese don’t insulate their houses. Nor do they have central air (or even radiators) I don’t know why. Many public buildings are also not insulated and also have no built-in heat source – including my school. My house is cold, but I don’t mind so much (except when getting out of the shower - *shiver*). I just put on some fleece, turn on a heater, and stick my feet under my kotatsu (a little table that has a little heater on its underside). School’s a different story.

Even though they close the doors and windows, the classrooms get cold – especially on a day like today when the sun doesn’t come out (another thing: almost all Japanese buildings have their main windows facing south so the sun shines in in the wintertime – my school is also designed this way). The kids are shivering. The teachers are wearing coats. The kerosene space heaters have been sitting in the classes for a couple of weeks now, but they won’t turn them on. Why? Well, they don’t turn them on until it gets colder than 10 degrees Celsius (50 F). So, if its 10 degrees in the room and everyone is sitting there freezing, no dice. But if you get lucky (and we did so today), the temperature will just break 10, and they’ll turn on the heaters. But they’ll only heat the room up to 18 C (64 F) – then they go off again. So, in the moments that the heaters are on, the kids huddle around them like hobos next to a burning trashcan. At least they save energy, right?

Demonstration Class

Last Friday, there was a big to-do at our school. We were having demonstration classes. So, junior high and elementary schools from all over the area closed early so that the teachers could come to our school – and watch us teach. Apparently, this is a big deal for the teachers. Kae had been planning our lesson for the demonstration class for months. She was really really nervous. I was fine, but for some reason, during that week, my vice principal was trying to make me nervous. He kept asking me (he speaks some English), “are you nervous? – you should be nervous.” It was weird – and it made me a little nervous.

On the big day, the kids all got into their formal uniforms (they all wear uniforms, but usually its just green sweatsuits – they only wear the nice uniforms – blazers and slacks for boys, sailor outfits for girls – when they walk to and from school). When everyone arrived, they first went to the gym where all the kids sang a choral song for them. Guess what the song was. You never will… It was Hallelujah. Hallelujah! A full chorus version of Hallelujah. You know – “The kingdom of his Christ will reign for ever and ever” – that song. Why on earth they would sing that song, I have no idea. Certainly not for religious reasons – not only are Japanese people not Christian (they’re usually Buddhist or nothing), no one at the school even knows what the song means. Aren’t there Japanese songs they could sing? It was super weird. Truly…

After that bit of weirdness, the kids filed out of the room to prepare for class, and the teachers stayed for an opening ceremony. No event in Japan, regardless of how small it is, can begin without a lengthy and pointless opening ceremony. So I hightailed it out of there before it began.

After an hour of opening ceremonies, it was finally time for class. There were about 20 – 30 people hanging out in the back of and on the sides of the room – several with cameras and/or videocameras. Kae had talked with me about each movement we would make during the lesson, so it went pretty smoothly, but everyone was so nervous. Kae was barely maintaining and it looked like the kids were silently flipping out. Either their nice uniforms were so tight that they restricted movement, or the kids were holding still as not to draw undue attention to themselves. Several looked like they were gonna explode, implode, or bolt when Kae had me call on them individually. On a good day, many of them are nervous about speaking English, but on this day, in front of all those people, they all were.

When it was finally over, Kae had to sit through a two hour meeting with all the observers about her performance. The meeting was all in Japanese, so I was able to weasel my way out of it. Instead, I hung out with the ALTs who came to watch the class. Sometimes its better for foreigners in Japan to not be able to speak Japanese.