Chinese Students

Yesterday, a bunch of Chinese students dropped by the school. I think the Chinese students were from a wealthy private school, they were on a four-day field trip to Japan, and they wanted to stop by a Japanese school on their way to Mt. Fuji. So, they came here. Not surprisingly, the staff here had been excited about this for weeks, so, they’d been preparing by practicing their Chinese.


When the Chinese students arrived, there was a lengthy opening ceremony. The Japanese students performed a choral piece for the occasion. Guess what it was. Hallelujah! Again… It never ceases to be weird. The Chinese students then answered back with their own song. It sucked. They totally half-assed it. The Japanese don’t mess around when it comes to chorus performances. They practice and practce, and nearly every sings their hearts out. These Chinese students just couldn’t commit.

After the songs there were a bunch of boring speeches. Then, the leader of the Nakatomi student council stepped up to the mic and said (in English), “now we are going to have an arm wrestling competition.” “Really?” I said to the teacher standing next to me. “Yes,” she replied. Then they brought out a desk with a pad on top of this. They were serious. “Takeshi our school champion. Who will face him?” The Chinese students looked confused. I don’t think they were prepared for this. After a lot of hesitance, a very large Chinese student stood up and walked over to Takeshi, who is about a foot shorter. These Chinese students were from Beijing – Northern Chinese – horsemen. They are tall. So, Takeshi faced off against this enormous Chinese man, and, after a long deadlock, won. He actually won. I was surprised, but not as surprised as I was about to be.


“The girls’ champion is Nao. Who will face her?” Really? Nao? Nao is this short, little cute girl with wide eyes and a perpetual look of confusion. She, apparently is the girls’ champion. So, an enormous Chinese girl stands up and towers over Nao. Then they arm wrestle. Nao destroys the Chinese girl. It was unbelievable. I think the Japanese kids had been practicing their arm wrestling for this occasion. I mean, their form was really good. They practice everything.


After the feats of strength, nothing else interesting happened – more greetings and gift giving. The Chinese students were only here for two hours. Come in, sing a song, give some gifts, say “thank you”, arm wrestle, and get out.

The Salesman

Occasionally, a salesman will come to the teacher’s room and try to sell something (I’m not sure what they sell, or who they speak to about it, I only know when they come and when they go.)

The Japanese salesman is easy to spot. He is dressed well, his hair is nicely styled, and he is filled with a deep feeling of soul-crushing shame. When he enters the teacher’s room, he apologizes profusely and bows so deeply that one can see the spirits of his ancestors bowing along with him. He has invaded another’s workplace. His ancestors have been dishonored. When he leaves, it’s more of the same. As he apologizes for time wasted, somewhere nearby, corpses slowly turn under headstones. The indignity reaches back for generations.

So, some of the other JETs and I got to thinking, “what can these salesmen do to make their intrusions less shameful?” We came up with an idea:

The salesman enters – apologizes profusely. It can’t be helped. He brings with him brochures and two attendants (maybe trainees). After making a small pitch, the salesman makes his brochures available. He then apologizes once more, bows deeply, and, in a final expression of his humility, expires. Not a messy, blood-filled death – rather, he instantly, and of his own willpower, ceases to live. His attendants then carry his body from the room, bowing and apologizing as they do so.

I really think that would take a lot of the stress and embarrassment out of being a Japanese salesman.

First Day Back

Today was the first day back to school (I mean, I came in on Tuesday, but it was a no-classes-pretend-to-be-doing-stuff day). School started with an opening ceremony – of course. Then there was a fire drill. Fire drills only happen once a year – the first day back from winter break. Everyone puts on helmets and the vice principal times everyone as they run out of the building. But, don’t forget to change your shoes on your way out. You wouldn’t want to get your indoor shoes messed up fleeing from a burning building (I assume if the fire was real we wouldn’t bother with changing our shoes, but who knows…). When we got outside, I discovered, to my surprise, that the entire Minobu fire was observing us. They even brought a fire truck with them. All the teachers made a big deal of acting formal. The vice principal gave a military-like report to the principal that everyone was safe. Then the fun began. The fire department did a demonstration on how to use a fire extinguisher. They lit up a (contained) fire with a whole bunch of kerosene, and had some of the kids take turns putting it out with the extinguishers. It was pretty cool.

Then, we cleaned the school – again. Didn’t we just clean the school on the last day of classes? I guess new dust builds up. During the cleaning, I realized that the purpose of having the kids clean the school is not actually to clean the school. They do a terrible job. They use the same dirty rags to wipe everything with, they never use soap or any kind of cleaner, and they wash the windows with wet newspaper. The school is filthy. Rather, the cleaning is part of the whole junior high school socialization ritual.

Winter Break

Winter break is interesting here. There is about a week where everyone is off – no classes, no nothing. But this period is book-ended by another week or so where there are no classes, but some people still come in. Some of the students come in to do club activities or prepare for entrance exams, and some of the teachers come in to help the students. They want me to come in on those days. I’m not sure why. There’s barely anyone there and I have nothing to do. So, I make an appearance and pretend to be doing things.

I took most of winter break off and went to China to visit Cole. I’ll post stuff about that soon, even though it’s not about Japan.

Christmas

Christmas in Japan is interesting. Similar to Western Christmas (or “real” Christmas) on the surface, but not quite right. For one, Japanese people don’t really celebrate Christmas. They recognize the holiday, but don’t really observe it. There are very few Japanese Christians. Most of the people here are Shinto or Buddhist or a combination of the two. So, everything they know about Christmas comes through American corporations and pop-culture. Not surprisingly, this leaves the shell of Christmas – the consumer side of it (arguably the most important side these days) – without the whole “true meaning of Christmas” stuff.

So, what do they do? Well, they put up decorations. They love them. You can see Christmas decorations all over – cities put up lights (sometimes even Christmas trees), shopping centers are heavily decorated (usually with familiar Christmas tunes piped over the PA), and a surprising number of home-owners decorate their houses. Last Thursday, I went with my Japanese teacher to see the “illumination” in Nishijima (a nearby town). It turns out, around Christmas time, all the residents along a very narrow side street in Nishijima go all-out with Christmas decorations. Walking along the street, I saw nary a house that wasn’t decorated. Some even had little music box-type-things on sensors, so as you walked by them, Christmas music started to play. It almost felt like being back in America – except for a few giveaways – the narrow street, Japanese houses, and Japanese characters/things (ie. Hello Kitty in a Santa outfit, Doraimon in a Santa outfit, or Santas climbing a small replica of Tokyo Tower).

So, you’ll see Christmas decorations, hear Christmas music, see Christmas themed commercials, and experience discounted merchandise (Christmas sales). What won’t you see? For one, any reference whatsoever to Jesus. He does not make an appearance during Japanese Christmas. Santa, you’ll see plenty of him, but not Jesus. He is absent on his birthday. There are some urban legends going around that the Japanese sometimes confuse Santa for Jesus in the midst of the holiday season. I’ve heard rumors of nativity scenes with either Santa (somehow) in the manger or standing in for any number of major characters (notably the three kings/wisemen – I forget what they are). I’ve also heard of manger scenes where all the iconic figures are replaced with characters more recognizable to the Japanese – Micky Mouse, Hello Kitty, etc. Perhaps the most ridiculous rumor I’ve heard (but I wouldn’t totally put it past the Japanese to do this) is some department store or homeowner putting up an image of Santa on the cross. (The accounts of this one are totally inconsistent – in Tokyo, in Osaka, a little figurine, a lifesize mannequin, in the 60’s, ten years ago, last year, etc. – further calling its reality into question.) Considering Japan, these rumors are not so strange. Japanese people have little concept of religions outside of Buddhism (which even the average Japanese person seems to know little about). On Friday, at my bonenkai (big end of year party where everyone drinks and lets their hair down – I was goaded into singing an “English song” at karaoke – I did “Pinball Wizard” and was complimented on being able to sing the “difficult English” – everyone drank, but only the gym teacher was ridiculously looped – he was dancing around and shaking his butt during karaoke – anyway…), I had to explain to my vice-principal that Judaism is different from Christianity (after he asked why I didn’t celebrate Christmas, after he asked how I celebrated Christmas in America – he got a kick out of the “going to the movies/eating Chinese food” tradition, though). So, I gave him a brief (semi-drunken) version of the history of Western religion. He had had no idea.

Also, because it is solely a consumer holiday (no religious significance or days off), non of the whole “true spirit of Christmas” stuff exists in Japan – people don’t decorate the inside of their houses, they don’t put up trees, they don’t gather as a family for a celebration, they don’t give thanks for all the great stuff they have, they don’t even give gifts to the children. In fact, it’s more like Valentines Day. Couples get together, take romantic strolls under the Christmas lights, exchange gifts, and then go to love hotels.

Perhaps the most interesting part of Christmas in Japan is not what’s left out, but what has been added – specifically, the traditional Christmas meal – fried chicken. A little background information. One of the most successful American companies ever to do business in Japan (aside from Coca-Cola and McDonald’s) is KFC. Back in the 60’s and 70’s, they were able to change their business model just enough so that it fit into Japanese society. I won’t go into details (mostly because I don’t know them), but their major contribution was convincing Japan that Americans eat Kentucky Fried Chicken on Christmas and that they should too. So, in Japan, on Christmas and a few days before, the lines at KFC are enormous as many Japanese people purchase their “traditional” Christmas meals – fried chicken. Even at school, on the last day of classes, we had a special “Christmas menu” complete with fried chicken. Way to go, KFC.

As for how I spent my Christmas (sadly without movies and Chinese food), I went to an Australian style Christmas barbeque hosted by another JET, and ate grilled burgers, cold pasta salad, and other warm-weather foods. Christmas is summertime in Australia, you know.

Kobe

Last weekend was a long weekend (it was the Emperor’s birthday on Sunday, so Monday was a “substitute holiday”). So, I went down to Kobe to visit my roommate from the Tokyo orientation back in July. I took the Shinkansen – the bullet train – to get down there. It was great – really easy to get around, plenty of legroom, and the thing moves so fast. The only problem is that its really expensive. About a hundred dollars each way. Yikes.

At the JET orientations, when they say, “every situation is different” they really mean it. The Kobe JETs have it very different from Yamanashi JETs. I’m a bit jealous. First off, Kobe is a real city, with people and shopping and movie theaters and buildings – not like Kofu. Almost all the Kobe JETs live in one apartment complex on the outskirts of the city – only a twenty-five minute train ride from downtown. Considering that the nearest “city” to me (Kofu) is a fifty minute train ride, that’s pretty great. Plus, all the JETs live right near each other! I’m a bit jealous.

Kobe itself is an interesting city. In 1995, a monster 7.9 earthquake flattened the downtown area. Five thousand people were killed and almost all the buildings destroyed. Today, there’s no sign that there ever was an earthquake (except for a very depressing “Earthquake Museum”). The entire city was pretty much immediately and totally rebuilt. Because of the earthquake, there are no real historic sites in Kobe (they were smashed), so they city doesn’t hold much as a tourist destination. It is, however, a really vibrant place. When the city was rebuilt, it seems the most important priority was shops and restaurants. The city is absolutely full of them. Especially around Christmas time (with all the sales) the place was bustling – so busy – almost New York level. Also, a lot of young people have moved into the city since the disaster, so there’s an active nightlife too.

All in all, Kobe isn’t that interesting as a cultural destination, but it seems like a fun and convenient place to live. And a cool place to go party, if you don’t mind spending two hundred dollars for a round trip ticket.

Winter Concert

So, I just got back from what I assume was our school’s winter concert. Instead of having classes in the afternoon, everyone went down to the Cultural Hall (about a 15 min. drive from the school) for a concert. The brass band performed, and all the classes did at least one choral number. Even the teachers went up for a choral performance.

The whole thing was pretty typical (at the end, the whole school did their standard “Hallelujah” – just as weird the second time). The brass band was pretty good, but largely out of tune. The choirs were surprisingly good. The teachers sucked in their rendition of (the Japanese version of) “Do You Hear the People Sing?” from Les Mis. Yeah… pretty bad. But that didn’t stop certain enthusiastic (and out of tune) teachers from belting as loud as they could. The kids I was sitting near could barely contain themselves – trying to hide their red faces and not draw attention to the fact they they’re cracking up. Kae said that last year’s teachers’ performance was worse. “Terrible” she described it. I can’t imagine…

Perhaps the best part of the afternoon was an unintentionally comical rendition of “Oh Happy Day.” Who’s seen “Sister Act” (I forget if it was 1 or 2 – maybe Cetel can help me out…)? You know the part where they sing that song, and its awesome – full of emotion and soul and talent? Now picture thirteen Japanese girls (in their blue sailor outfits) standing in a row, trying to sing the same song. They all were rocking from side to side (not in a natural “I’m singing gospel!” way, but in a forced “my teacher told us this is what black people do when they sing gospel” kind of way) and slapping their right leg to keep time (they all did the same thing – slap the right leg with the right hand). The slapping was just as awkward and forced as the rocking. Some were too shy to really commit to the slapping and the rocking. Others slapped and rocked as if they possibly had maybe seen that scene from Sister Act (1 or 2), but lacked the natural rhythm to be able to pull it off. I bit my finger to keep from audibly laughing. Apparently, you cannot teach “soul” as you would “multiplication tables” or “vocab words”. It cannot be learned through practice and repetition. Involuntary comedy, however, can be achieved in this way.

After the concert was over (did I mention I was handed a camera halfway through and told to “cameraman”) and the closing ceremonies concluded (got to have opening and closing ceremonies), some old lady that I’ve never seen before took the stage. She essentially gave a speech whereby she went through each performed song and said something along the lines of “wonderful”, and she praised the students for their hard work. This would have been a lovely gesture had it only taken a few minutes – maybe, five at the most. But, it went on for (I kid you not) twenty-five minutes. The teacher sitting next to me fell asleep.