Exam Day

Today, the kids had their big term exams (all the material since summer vacation ended in September) in all their classes. Once the English test was over, Kae had me grade the free-writing portion of all the 9th graders’ tests. Oh boy… These kids’ written English isn’t worth beans.

Out of all the tests I graded, despite their use of simple grammar over four sentences, not one student had a perfect paper. Not one. Mistakes ranged from a few left-out articles and misspelled words (only a few students) to leaving the entire section blank (several more than the former group). I would expect it from the seventh graders, but these are the kids that have been formally studying English for almost three years.

Of the kids who actually wrote something, a large percentage constructed sentences that were completely incomprehensible. For instance: “Mt. Fuji is know how you very excited.” and “Mochi is like math.” (I think the later is actually supposed to read “I like mochi very much”, but the student not only changed the direct object to the subject and confused the verb, but also misspelled “much” as “math”. I have no idea what the first sentence is supposed to mean.)

Part of the problem (aside from the zero emphasis on using words to form original thoughts in English language education) is that bad grades end up meaning very little (at least for the kids who get them). Let me explain. First, the Japanese do not fail students. No matter how badly a student does in class, they will always move up to the next grade. No one gets held back. Second, the population of small towns (like mine) is shrinking. Therefore, high schools are getting less competitive (the kids in Japan need to apply to high schools like Americans apply to college). While the very best high schools are still difficult to get into (the ones in Kofu), the local high schools (Minobu High School, for example) are willing to take anyone in order to increase enrollment. So, the kids at the top of the class want to do well in order to stay competitive for the best high schools. But, for the kids at the bottom of the class, there’s zero disincentive for getting bad grades. Those kids that never bothered to study English (either because of stupidity or laziness) can afford to leave most of their English term exams blank. They’ll be passed to the next grade even with 0%. In the past, having the grades to get into a decent high school were motive enough for students to work hard, but now, those schools that used to be selective will take anyone. No wonder the local high school ALT complains that her kids are stupid…

Anyway… Because of the testing there were no classes today, and therefore, nothing for me to do (except, of course, a half-hour of paper grading). So, I spent most of the day learning a bunch of Japanese adjectives. By far the most useful: tsumaranaina – boring. As in: Kyo wa tsumaranaina hi deshita.

The Japanese Don't Trust Foreigners

So, my internet situation is still not squared away. Mr. Yamada stopped by the school today to tell me about the most recent problem. It seems that my internet provider can’t figure out how to bill me (even though they’ve already sent me one bill – in September - which I payed promptly, I might add).

I had asked Yamada (in August) if I could pay through my bank ATM card – that way the provider could just extract their payment without me having to worry about it. He finally got back to me (the guy’s a moron). “No” was the answer. They could only do that with a debit card – one that had a Visa logo on it, or something. Thing is, I asked the bank for a debit card when I set up my account. They wouldn’t give it to me – because I’m a foreigner. Turns out, they don’t trust foreigners with debit cards (I guess because all foreigners are irresponsible and will overdraw their accounts).

But the internet provider doesn’t want to send me bills either – because I’m a foreigner. Turns out, they don’t trust foreigners with bills (I guess because all foreigners are irresponsible and won’t pay them on time, if at all). They would rather directly withdraw the money themselves – through a debit card. How stupidly ironic. A catch-22 of distrust. If only the bank could talk to the internet provider… Maybe then they could coordinate their racism toward something other than pissing me off.

Samui ne!

Its cold. Very cold. Its not that Japan is so cold – not at all. In my town, its about the same temperature it is back in Jersey, and its nowhere near as cold as it is in Chicago. So why am I complaining about the cold – especially after having spent four (relatively) complain-free winters in Chicago? Well, its actually not that cold – outside. Outside its around fifty – which I consider really nice. Almost ideal actually. The thing is, it’s the same temperature inside as well.

The Japanese don’t insulate their houses. Nor do they have central air (or even radiators) I don’t know why. Many public buildings are also not insulated and also have no built-in heat source – including my school. My house is cold, but I don’t mind so much (except when getting out of the shower - *shiver*). I just put on some fleece, turn on a heater, and stick my feet under my kotatsu (a little table that has a little heater on its underside). School’s a different story.

Even though they close the doors and windows, the classrooms get cold – especially on a day like today when the sun doesn’t come out (another thing: almost all Japanese buildings have their main windows facing south so the sun shines in in the wintertime – my school is also designed this way). The kids are shivering. The teachers are wearing coats. The kerosene space heaters have been sitting in the classes for a couple of weeks now, but they won’t turn them on. Why? Well, they don’t turn them on until it gets colder than 10 degrees Celsius (50 F). So, if its 10 degrees in the room and everyone is sitting there freezing, no dice. But if you get lucky (and we did so today), the temperature will just break 10, and they’ll turn on the heaters. But they’ll only heat the room up to 18 C (64 F) – then they go off again. So, in the moments that the heaters are on, the kids huddle around them like hobos next to a burning trashcan. At least they save energy, right?

Demonstration Class

Last Friday, there was a big to-do at our school. We were having demonstration classes. So, junior high and elementary schools from all over the area closed early so that the teachers could come to our school – and watch us teach. Apparently, this is a big deal for the teachers. Kae had been planning our lesson for the demonstration class for months. She was really really nervous. I was fine, but for some reason, during that week, my vice principal was trying to make me nervous. He kept asking me (he speaks some English), “are you nervous? – you should be nervous.” It was weird – and it made me a little nervous.

On the big day, the kids all got into their formal uniforms (they all wear uniforms, but usually its just green sweatsuits – they only wear the nice uniforms – blazers and slacks for boys, sailor outfits for girls – when they walk to and from school). When everyone arrived, they first went to the gym where all the kids sang a choral song for them. Guess what the song was. You never will… It was Hallelujah. Hallelujah! A full chorus version of Hallelujah. You know – “The kingdom of his Christ will reign for ever and ever” – that song. Why on earth they would sing that song, I have no idea. Certainly not for religious reasons – not only are Japanese people not Christian (they’re usually Buddhist or nothing), no one at the school even knows what the song means. Aren’t there Japanese songs they could sing? It was super weird. Truly…

After that bit of weirdness, the kids filed out of the room to prepare for class, and the teachers stayed for an opening ceremony. No event in Japan, regardless of how small it is, can begin without a lengthy and pointless opening ceremony. So I hightailed it out of there before it began.

After an hour of opening ceremonies, it was finally time for class. There were about 20 – 30 people hanging out in the back of and on the sides of the room – several with cameras and/or videocameras. Kae had talked with me about each movement we would make during the lesson, so it went pretty smoothly, but everyone was so nervous. Kae was barely maintaining and it looked like the kids were silently flipping out. Either their nice uniforms were so tight that they restricted movement, or the kids were holding still as not to draw undue attention to themselves. Several looked like they were gonna explode, implode, or bolt when Kae had me call on them individually. On a good day, many of them are nervous about speaking English, but on this day, in front of all those people, they all were.

When it was finally over, Kae had to sit through a two hour meeting with all the observers about her performance. The meeting was all in Japanese, so I was able to weasel my way out of it. Instead, I hung out with the ALTs who came to watch the class. Sometimes its better for foreigners in Japan to not be able to speak Japanese.

English Difficult!

Today, instead of the kids sitting at their usual tables for lunch (with their class), they were arranged at tables according to interest – anime, video games, tv dramas, fashion, manga, etc. I guess so that they have an opportunity to talk with kids from different classes who share their interests. The teachers were also each assigned a table. I was at the baseball table. I’m not sure why. The kids didn’t even really talk about baseball, let alone talk to me about baseball (not like I’d have that much to say about baseball aside from “how about those Red Sox?” or just “Matsuzaka!”).

After lunch, I went up to one of the goof-off 9th graders (who barely knows English but I can still joke with) and asked him what table he was sitting at. He said, “English difficult” and literally ran away – to the other side of the cafeteria. Later, I cornered him, and made him answer (in a friendly way – I put my arm around him as he was walking and made sure we understood one another). He eventually told me he was sitting at the “love” table. I’m not sure what that means…