Christmas

Christmas in Japan is interesting. Similar to Western Christmas (or “real” Christmas) on the surface, but not quite right. For one, Japanese people don’t really celebrate Christmas. They recognize the holiday, but don’t really observe it. There are very few Japanese Christians. Most of the people here are Shinto or Buddhist or a combination of the two. So, everything they know about Christmas comes through American corporations and pop-culture. Not surprisingly, this leaves the shell of Christmas – the consumer side of it (arguably the most important side these days) – without the whole “true meaning of Christmas” stuff.

So, what do they do? Well, they put up decorations. They love them. You can see Christmas decorations all over – cities put up lights (sometimes even Christmas trees), shopping centers are heavily decorated (usually with familiar Christmas tunes piped over the PA), and a surprising number of home-owners decorate their houses. Last Thursday, I went with my Japanese teacher to see the “illumination” in Nishijima (a nearby town). It turns out, around Christmas time, all the residents along a very narrow side street in Nishijima go all-out with Christmas decorations. Walking along the street, I saw nary a house that wasn’t decorated. Some even had little music box-type-things on sensors, so as you walked by them, Christmas music started to play. It almost felt like being back in America – except for a few giveaways – the narrow street, Japanese houses, and Japanese characters/things (ie. Hello Kitty in a Santa outfit, Doraimon in a Santa outfit, or Santas climbing a small replica of Tokyo Tower).

So, you’ll see Christmas decorations, hear Christmas music, see Christmas themed commercials, and experience discounted merchandise (Christmas sales). What won’t you see? For one, any reference whatsoever to Jesus. He does not make an appearance during Japanese Christmas. Santa, you’ll see plenty of him, but not Jesus. He is absent on his birthday. There are some urban legends going around that the Japanese sometimes confuse Santa for Jesus in the midst of the holiday season. I’ve heard rumors of nativity scenes with either Santa (somehow) in the manger or standing in for any number of major characters (notably the three kings/wisemen – I forget what they are). I’ve also heard of manger scenes where all the iconic figures are replaced with characters more recognizable to the Japanese – Micky Mouse, Hello Kitty, etc. Perhaps the most ridiculous rumor I’ve heard (but I wouldn’t totally put it past the Japanese to do this) is some department store or homeowner putting up an image of Santa on the cross. (The accounts of this one are totally inconsistent – in Tokyo, in Osaka, a little figurine, a lifesize mannequin, in the 60’s, ten years ago, last year, etc. – further calling its reality into question.) Considering Japan, these rumors are not so strange. Japanese people have little concept of religions outside of Buddhism (which even the average Japanese person seems to know little about). On Friday, at my bonenkai (big end of year party where everyone drinks and lets their hair down – I was goaded into singing an “English song” at karaoke – I did “Pinball Wizard” and was complimented on being able to sing the “difficult English” – everyone drank, but only the gym teacher was ridiculously looped – he was dancing around and shaking his butt during karaoke – anyway…), I had to explain to my vice-principal that Judaism is different from Christianity (after he asked why I didn’t celebrate Christmas, after he asked how I celebrated Christmas in America – he got a kick out of the “going to the movies/eating Chinese food” tradition, though). So, I gave him a brief (semi-drunken) version of the history of Western religion. He had had no idea.

Also, because it is solely a consumer holiday (no religious significance or days off), non of the whole “true spirit of Christmas” stuff exists in Japan – people don’t decorate the inside of their houses, they don’t put up trees, they don’t gather as a family for a celebration, they don’t give thanks for all the great stuff they have, they don’t even give gifts to the children. In fact, it’s more like Valentines Day. Couples get together, take romantic strolls under the Christmas lights, exchange gifts, and then go to love hotels.

Perhaps the most interesting part of Christmas in Japan is not what’s left out, but what has been added – specifically, the traditional Christmas meal – fried chicken. A little background information. One of the most successful American companies ever to do business in Japan (aside from Coca-Cola and McDonald’s) is KFC. Back in the 60’s and 70’s, they were able to change their business model just enough so that it fit into Japanese society. I won’t go into details (mostly because I don’t know them), but their major contribution was convincing Japan that Americans eat Kentucky Fried Chicken on Christmas and that they should too. So, in Japan, on Christmas and a few days before, the lines at KFC are enormous as many Japanese people purchase their “traditional” Christmas meals – fried chicken. Even at school, on the last day of classes, we had a special “Christmas menu” complete with fried chicken. Way to go, KFC.

As for how I spent my Christmas (sadly without movies and Chinese food), I went to an Australian style Christmas barbeque hosted by another JET, and ate grilled burgers, cold pasta salad, and other warm-weather foods. Christmas is summertime in Australia, you know.

Kobe

Last weekend was a long weekend (it was the Emperor’s birthday on Sunday, so Monday was a “substitute holiday”). So, I went down to Kobe to visit my roommate from the Tokyo orientation back in July. I took the Shinkansen – the bullet train – to get down there. It was great – really easy to get around, plenty of legroom, and the thing moves so fast. The only problem is that its really expensive. About a hundred dollars each way. Yikes.

At the JET orientations, when they say, “every situation is different” they really mean it. The Kobe JETs have it very different from Yamanashi JETs. I’m a bit jealous. First off, Kobe is a real city, with people and shopping and movie theaters and buildings – not like Kofu. Almost all the Kobe JETs live in one apartment complex on the outskirts of the city – only a twenty-five minute train ride from downtown. Considering that the nearest “city” to me (Kofu) is a fifty minute train ride, that’s pretty great. Plus, all the JETs live right near each other! I’m a bit jealous.

Kobe itself is an interesting city. In 1995, a monster 7.9 earthquake flattened the downtown area. Five thousand people were killed and almost all the buildings destroyed. Today, there’s no sign that there ever was an earthquake (except for a very depressing “Earthquake Museum”). The entire city was pretty much immediately and totally rebuilt. Because of the earthquake, there are no real historic sites in Kobe (they were smashed), so they city doesn’t hold much as a tourist destination. It is, however, a really vibrant place. When the city was rebuilt, it seems the most important priority was shops and restaurants. The city is absolutely full of them. Especially around Christmas time (with all the sales) the place was bustling – so busy – almost New York level. Also, a lot of young people have moved into the city since the disaster, so there’s an active nightlife too.

All in all, Kobe isn’t that interesting as a cultural destination, but it seems like a fun and convenient place to live. And a cool place to go party, if you don’t mind spending two hundred dollars for a round trip ticket.

Winter Concert

So, I just got back from what I assume was our school’s winter concert. Instead of having classes in the afternoon, everyone went down to the Cultural Hall (about a 15 min. drive from the school) for a concert. The brass band performed, and all the classes did at least one choral number. Even the teachers went up for a choral performance.

The whole thing was pretty typical (at the end, the whole school did their standard “Hallelujah” – just as weird the second time). The brass band was pretty good, but largely out of tune. The choirs were surprisingly good. The teachers sucked in their rendition of (the Japanese version of) “Do You Hear the People Sing?” from Les Mis. Yeah… pretty bad. But that didn’t stop certain enthusiastic (and out of tune) teachers from belting as loud as they could. The kids I was sitting near could barely contain themselves – trying to hide their red faces and not draw attention to the fact they they’re cracking up. Kae said that last year’s teachers’ performance was worse. “Terrible” she described it. I can’t imagine…

Perhaps the best part of the afternoon was an unintentionally comical rendition of “Oh Happy Day.” Who’s seen “Sister Act” (I forget if it was 1 or 2 – maybe Cetel can help me out…)? You know the part where they sing that song, and its awesome – full of emotion and soul and talent? Now picture thirteen Japanese girls (in their blue sailor outfits) standing in a row, trying to sing the same song. They all were rocking from side to side (not in a natural “I’m singing gospel!” way, but in a forced “my teacher told us this is what black people do when they sing gospel” kind of way) and slapping their right leg to keep time (they all did the same thing – slap the right leg with the right hand). The slapping was just as awkward and forced as the rocking. Some were too shy to really commit to the slapping and the rocking. Others slapped and rocked as if they possibly had maybe seen that scene from Sister Act (1 or 2), but lacked the natural rhythm to be able to pull it off. I bit my finger to keep from audibly laughing. Apparently, you cannot teach “soul” as you would “multiplication tables” or “vocab words”. It cannot be learned through practice and repetition. Involuntary comedy, however, can be achieved in this way.

After the concert was over (did I mention I was handed a camera halfway through and told to “cameraman”) and the closing ceremonies concluded (got to have opening and closing ceremonies), some old lady that I’ve never seen before took the stage. She essentially gave a speech whereby she went through each performed song and said something along the lines of “wonderful”, and she praised the students for their hard work. This would have been a lovely gesture had it only taken a few minutes – maybe, five at the most. But, it went on for (I kid you not) twenty-five minutes. The teacher sitting next to me fell asleep.

Exam Day

Today, the kids had their big term exams (all the material since summer vacation ended in September) in all their classes. Once the English test was over, Kae had me grade the free-writing portion of all the 9th graders’ tests. Oh boy… These kids’ written English isn’t worth beans.

Out of all the tests I graded, despite their use of simple grammar over four sentences, not one student had a perfect paper. Not one. Mistakes ranged from a few left-out articles and misspelled words (only a few students) to leaving the entire section blank (several more than the former group). I would expect it from the seventh graders, but these are the kids that have been formally studying English for almost three years.

Of the kids who actually wrote something, a large percentage constructed sentences that were completely incomprehensible. For instance: “Mt. Fuji is know how you very excited.” and “Mochi is like math.” (I think the later is actually supposed to read “I like mochi very much”, but the student not only changed the direct object to the subject and confused the verb, but also misspelled “much” as “math”. I have no idea what the first sentence is supposed to mean.)

Part of the problem (aside from the zero emphasis on using words to form original thoughts in English language education) is that bad grades end up meaning very little (at least for the kids who get them). Let me explain. First, the Japanese do not fail students. No matter how badly a student does in class, they will always move up to the next grade. No one gets held back. Second, the population of small towns (like mine) is shrinking. Therefore, high schools are getting less competitive (the kids in Japan need to apply to high schools like Americans apply to college). While the very best high schools are still difficult to get into (the ones in Kofu), the local high schools (Minobu High School, for example) are willing to take anyone in order to increase enrollment. So, the kids at the top of the class want to do well in order to stay competitive for the best high schools. But, for the kids at the bottom of the class, there’s zero disincentive for getting bad grades. Those kids that never bothered to study English (either because of stupidity or laziness) can afford to leave most of their English term exams blank. They’ll be passed to the next grade even with 0%. In the past, having the grades to get into a decent high school were motive enough for students to work hard, but now, those schools that used to be selective will take anyone. No wonder the local high school ALT complains that her kids are stupid…

Anyway… Because of the testing there were no classes today, and therefore, nothing for me to do (except, of course, a half-hour of paper grading). So, I spent most of the day learning a bunch of Japanese adjectives. By far the most useful: tsumaranaina – boring. As in: Kyo wa tsumaranaina hi deshita.

The Japanese Don't Trust Foreigners

So, my internet situation is still not squared away. Mr. Yamada stopped by the school today to tell me about the most recent problem. It seems that my internet provider can’t figure out how to bill me (even though they’ve already sent me one bill – in September - which I payed promptly, I might add).

I had asked Yamada (in August) if I could pay through my bank ATM card – that way the provider could just extract their payment without me having to worry about it. He finally got back to me (the guy’s a moron). “No” was the answer. They could only do that with a debit card – one that had a Visa logo on it, or something. Thing is, I asked the bank for a debit card when I set up my account. They wouldn’t give it to me – because I’m a foreigner. Turns out, they don’t trust foreigners with debit cards (I guess because all foreigners are irresponsible and will overdraw their accounts).

But the internet provider doesn’t want to send me bills either – because I’m a foreigner. Turns out, they don’t trust foreigners with bills (I guess because all foreigners are irresponsible and won’t pay them on time, if at all). They would rather directly withdraw the money themselves – through a debit card. How stupidly ironic. A catch-22 of distrust. If only the bank could talk to the internet provider… Maybe then they could coordinate their racism toward something other than pissing me off.

Samui ne!

Its cold. Very cold. Its not that Japan is so cold – not at all. In my town, its about the same temperature it is back in Jersey, and its nowhere near as cold as it is in Chicago. So why am I complaining about the cold – especially after having spent four (relatively) complain-free winters in Chicago? Well, its actually not that cold – outside. Outside its around fifty – which I consider really nice. Almost ideal actually. The thing is, it’s the same temperature inside as well.

The Japanese don’t insulate their houses. Nor do they have central air (or even radiators) I don’t know why. Many public buildings are also not insulated and also have no built-in heat source – including my school. My house is cold, but I don’t mind so much (except when getting out of the shower - *shiver*). I just put on some fleece, turn on a heater, and stick my feet under my kotatsu (a little table that has a little heater on its underside). School’s a different story.

Even though they close the doors and windows, the classrooms get cold – especially on a day like today when the sun doesn’t come out (another thing: almost all Japanese buildings have their main windows facing south so the sun shines in in the wintertime – my school is also designed this way). The kids are shivering. The teachers are wearing coats. The kerosene space heaters have been sitting in the classes for a couple of weeks now, but they won’t turn them on. Why? Well, they don’t turn them on until it gets colder than 10 degrees Celsius (50 F). So, if its 10 degrees in the room and everyone is sitting there freezing, no dice. But if you get lucky (and we did so today), the temperature will just break 10, and they’ll turn on the heaters. But they’ll only heat the room up to 18 C (64 F) – then they go off again. So, in the moments that the heaters are on, the kids huddle around them like hobos next to a burning trashcan. At least they save energy, right?

Demonstration Class

Last Friday, there was a big to-do at our school. We were having demonstration classes. So, junior high and elementary schools from all over the area closed early so that the teachers could come to our school – and watch us teach. Apparently, this is a big deal for the teachers. Kae had been planning our lesson for the demonstration class for months. She was really really nervous. I was fine, but for some reason, during that week, my vice principal was trying to make me nervous. He kept asking me (he speaks some English), “are you nervous? – you should be nervous.” It was weird – and it made me a little nervous.

On the big day, the kids all got into their formal uniforms (they all wear uniforms, but usually its just green sweatsuits – they only wear the nice uniforms – blazers and slacks for boys, sailor outfits for girls – when they walk to and from school). When everyone arrived, they first went to the gym where all the kids sang a choral song for them. Guess what the song was. You never will… It was Hallelujah. Hallelujah! A full chorus version of Hallelujah. You know – “The kingdom of his Christ will reign for ever and ever” – that song. Why on earth they would sing that song, I have no idea. Certainly not for religious reasons – not only are Japanese people not Christian (they’re usually Buddhist or nothing), no one at the school even knows what the song means. Aren’t there Japanese songs they could sing? It was super weird. Truly…

After that bit of weirdness, the kids filed out of the room to prepare for class, and the teachers stayed for an opening ceremony. No event in Japan, regardless of how small it is, can begin without a lengthy and pointless opening ceremony. So I hightailed it out of there before it began.

After an hour of opening ceremonies, it was finally time for class. There were about 20 – 30 people hanging out in the back of and on the sides of the room – several with cameras and/or videocameras. Kae had talked with me about each movement we would make during the lesson, so it went pretty smoothly, but everyone was so nervous. Kae was barely maintaining and it looked like the kids were silently flipping out. Either their nice uniforms were so tight that they restricted movement, or the kids were holding still as not to draw undue attention to themselves. Several looked like they were gonna explode, implode, or bolt when Kae had me call on them individually. On a good day, many of them are nervous about speaking English, but on this day, in front of all those people, they all were.

When it was finally over, Kae had to sit through a two hour meeting with all the observers about her performance. The meeting was all in Japanese, so I was able to weasel my way out of it. Instead, I hung out with the ALTs who came to watch the class. Sometimes its better for foreigners in Japan to not be able to speak Japanese.

English Difficult!

Today, instead of the kids sitting at their usual tables for lunch (with their class), they were arranged at tables according to interest – anime, video games, tv dramas, fashion, manga, etc. I guess so that they have an opportunity to talk with kids from different classes who share their interests. The teachers were also each assigned a table. I was at the baseball table. I’m not sure why. The kids didn’t even really talk about baseball, let alone talk to me about baseball (not like I’d have that much to say about baseball aside from “how about those Red Sox?” or just “Matsuzaka!”).

After lunch, I went up to one of the goof-off 9th graders (who barely knows English but I can still joke with) and asked him what table he was sitting at. He said, “English difficult” and literally ran away – to the other side of the cafeteria. Later, I cornered him, and made him answer (in a friendly way – I put my arm around him as he was walking and made sure we understood one another). He eventually told me he was sitting at the “love” table. I’m not sure what that means…

Halloween Party!

Today we had a little Halloween party in elementary school. The two other ALTs and I combined all the classes into one (usually I teach 5th and 6th grades, one ALT teaches 1st and 2nd, and the other teaches 3rd and 4th - fascinating tidbit, I know), and had the kids wrap each other up as mummies. The kids had a lot of fun, and I took some pictures. So… I think the pictures speak for themselves.

Overdoing it a Bit

The Japanese seem to overdo everything – and approach everything super carefully. On Sunday, I finally went to get my haircut. I happened to be in Kofu, and there’s a haircut place right near the station that came recommended by another JET. So, I went. They were able to fit me in (though not with the guy who speaks English). I showed the guy a picture of me when my hair was shorter, he seemed to get the idea, and we went along our merry way. The first thing (obviously) is to get the hair shampooed. This was a big of an ordeal. First, he put a small towel around my neck (very carefully), then a large towel on my lap, and then a smock tied at the neck. When I leaned back to get my head wet, he put this face shaped piece of paper on my face – I have no idea why. (Maybe Japanese people get embarrassed when someone washes their hair, and they don’t want the person doing it to see their face – and vice versa.) So, he finally sits me down and starts cutting my hair. But, he seemed sort of afraid to actually cut it. He would cut a few millimeters at a time, and then I would say, “a little shorter”, and he would cut a few more millimeters, and I would say, “a little shorter”, and so on… I’m sure he didn’t want to cut it too short for me (only to enrage me), but the picture I had shown him was of my hair (literally) moments after it was cut, and it was really short. He seemed really really tentative to take it to that level though – you know, the level where he cuts my hair. Once it was satisfactorily short (after a lot of coaxing), he took me back to the sink to rinse my hair (actually a good idea) – complete with two towels, a smock, and a face cover. Then he blow-dried it. By the time I got out of there, I had been getting my haircut for over an hour. A bit much…

In a similar vein, I started going to a gym that’s not too far from my apartment. When you go to a gym in Japan (or, at least this gym), you can’t just pay a fee, and go work out. First, you need to buy a key. They program the key to tell you what workout you should do. You go to the tell-you-what-to-do machine, it tells you what to do. Then you go to the treadmill, bike, or weight machine, put your key in, and the machine you’re working on only lets you do what the key says you can do. If you try to change the level on the bike, for instance, the machine changes it back. Naturally, I resisted this system – I just wanted to do what I wanted to do. So, after a whole song and dance with the staff there (many of whom actually speak English surprisingly well), they had me take a strength test that would determine whether or not I was capable enough to determine my own workout (a test, they told me, that “everyone passes” – right… what’s the point then?). I passed, and they let me go about my business.

Actually the key idea is really good. I just don’t like to be told what to do.

Festivals!

[Hey everyone (at least I assume more than one person reads this...). Sorry its been so long. I guess as I settle in a routine there becomes less and less stuff that's worth reporting. I'll try to update more though. Anyway...]

Japan is balls deep in festivals. There’s a festival (certainly) every weekend, and practically every day – and that’s just in Yamanashi. I shutter to think of the number of festivals in all of Japan. So, two weekends ago I went to a festival in Nirasaki which is about an hour north of me. One of my friends who lives up there was invited by his town to participate in it. The festival consisted of a bunch of different performance groups marching around the town, occasionally stopping to do a performance. For example, there were student marching bands (in incredibly silly outfits), traditional Japanese dance groups, and a traditional royal procession (complete with people in Samurai costumes, and other Edo period attire). Dave was part of the later group. He was a banner-bearer in the procession – complete with armor, a big black circular hat, and a giant 15-foot banner.

It turns out, that same day, there was another festival right near my house. I would have gone, but no one bothered to mention its existence to me. For that festival (so I’ve heard), the men get very drunk (par for the course for festivals) and walk around carrying a mikoshi (a large shrine resting on two long poles). The mikoshi is really heavy, and everyone who was involved in carrying it (about four at a time) complained of sore, bruised shoulders for a couple days following the event. The carriers of the mikoshi also pretend that there’s a spirit inside the shrine that is coming to life (or something), so they carry it erratically, swaying from side to side. It doesn’t help things that many of the carriers are drunk, and naturally stagger. Not surprisingly, I heard that a bystander was clocked in the head and had to be taken to the hospital.

Last Friday night I went to another festival – this one, in Minobu. It’s a pretty big deal, and many of the residence from neighboring towns come to see it. The festival takes place at Minobu-san (the mountain in Minobu with a big elaborate temple at the top). Groups, dressed in matching outfits and armed with drums, march up the moutain (its not very steep – and the marching takes place on a street lined with shops that leads to the foot of the temple). When a group reaches a participating shop (which is practically all of them) they put on a little performance. The drummers play one of two simple songs, while these guys with lantern-like things atop long poles perform a dance. If the shop owners like the performance (which they invariably do), they give the group a bottle of sake.

Kae invited me to come with her. Her father was leading a group that consisted of her family and a bunch of her neighbors (maybe 20 people in all). They put me in a happi (a robe type thing), gave me a drum, taught me the beats, and we walked up the mountain. Not surprisingly, a lot of alcohol is involved in this event. The people in my group kept handing me cans of beer, flasks of whiskey, and juice-boxes (or cups) of sake. I didn’t have one, but most people in the group were wearing alcohol pouches, so they could stow away their drinks while banging on their drums. Partway up the mountain, some other JETs stopped by and joined in. It was a pretty great festival.

[I don’t really have any pictures of the Minobu festival, as I had a drum in one hand and a drumstick in the other. Some other people managed to take some pictures, so I’ll try to dig some of those up.]

Weekend in Tokyo

Saturday was Yom Kippur, so, like a good Jew, I went to services. Not surprisingly, there aren’t many Jews in Japan – but there are a few. So, some of the major cities have Jewish community centers. So, on Yom Kippur, I found myself at the Tokyo JCC. I went with a guy who’s known as LBJ (Long Bearded Josh) – the only other Jew in my prefecture.

The Tokyo JCC is in a nice, quiet neighborhood in Tokyo – on a small residential street. We were greeted at the door by two guys. One I think was Israeli, but he spoke nearly unaccented English (if anything it seemed to be an Australian accent). The other was a Japanese man who said “shalom” to us. Bizarre – first time I’ve heard Hebrew come out of a Japanese person. Inside, the JCC is a small, three story building. Reform/Conservative services were held in the chapel on the third floor. The services proceeded like any other (they were much more conservative than they were reform). There were moments when I’d forget that I was in Japan. I had to consistently look out the window to remind myself – although, the congregation was a bit of a tip-off. While the vast majority of the congregants were ethnically Jewish, there were a handful of men with Japanese wives (and very cute Jewsian children). I assume that some of them had converted, because there were a few who seemed to be singing along to the prayers. There was one elderly woman (with her Jewish husband) who was apparently the first-ever (or first recorded) Japanese convert to Judaism.

I had been really interested to see the crowd, but it turned out to be fairly unremarkable. (I had, for some reason, expected to see more Japanese people.) It was mostly families with young children – which stinks because I couldn’t just go up to a family and start a conversation (their being busy with their kids and all). There were, however, a fair amount of young adults that I had conversations with. The cool thing was that they were from all over the world. I met a British guy (the first British Jew I’ve met), a French guy (also the first), some Israelis, and (of course) a lot of Americans. One guy actually grew up in Voorhees and was a counselor at the JCC Camp in Medford (I apparently made him feel really old when I told him that, when he was a counselor, I wasn’t yet old enough to be one of his campers.).

After having the break-fast meal at the JCC, I went to meet up with some friends on the other side of town. This weekend was the big Tokyo Game Show (a huge videogame convention) and some of the other JETs had come into the city on Saturday to see it. That night, we all stayed in a capsule hotel. For some reason, I had expected capsule hotels to be kind of like giant morgues, with people sleeping in drawers stacked ten high. It turned out to be fairly pleasant. The capsules are much roomier than I expected (though I had expected something the size of a coffin). The hotel was ten floors, with a bathroom and a room with about thirty capsules (stacked only two high) on each floor. The top three floors are for women (which is rare – this is one of the few capsule hotels in the city that accept women guests).

The next day, we tooled around Akihabara – a neighborhood known for electronics and otaku (huge nerds). We spent most of our time in this enormous electronics store – eight stories high and about the size of a city block. Each floor is devoted to a specific thing (the third floor is all computer stuff, the fourth has camera stuff and watches, the sixth is all videogames and other types of toys – even non-electronics, like LEGOs). We spent a lot of time losing people and then having to relocate them…

After that, we went to Harajuku – a neighborhood that’s famous for the freaks that hang out there. There were some weird outfits… One old man (who I didn’t get a picture of) was wearing a rice-hat that had small fishbowls hanging from either side. The best though, were the Elvis/greaser crazy people. I’ve never seen such big hair. They just put on music and dance around, and people watch and take pictures. I think most of the ‘freaks’ in Harajuku are just out to get attention, and I think most of the other people in Harajuku are there to take pictures of the freaks. So, the system works well. There’s also a famous temple in Harajuku that we checked out. We even got to see a traditional style wedding procession (apparently that temple is a popular place to have traditional weddings). The temple is a good ten minute walk from where the freaks hang out, but somehow, a group of freaks managed to wander over there. It’s strange to see old Japan and new Japan in the same place at the same time.

Then, we went to a baseball game. We couldn’t get tickets to a Yomouri Giant’s game (they’re the biggest team in Tokyo – like Japan’s Yankees), so we to a Yakkult Swallow’s game. They were playing the Hanshen Tigers (from Osaka/Kobe – the teams here aren’t named after the city they play in, rather the company that owns them). The game felt very much like an American minor league game, not only because of the level of play, but also the size of the stadium. The Japanese are very organized when it comes to cheering on their team. For the most part, the fans from each team sit on opposite sides of the stadium. When their team bats, they all stand up and do a series of organized cheers. So there’ll be cheering, and, as soon as you’ve caught on and started to cheer too, the cheer will be over. They have a few different cheers for each player on the team that they cycle through whenever he comes up to bat. Meanwhile, the fans of the fielding team sit quietly. It’s bizarre. There’s no free cheering or shouting obscenities. It’s more like:

A’s Fans: We will cheer now! Here is our cheer! [relative silence] Here’s another cheer!
[switch sides]
B’s Fans: Now’s our turn to cheer! Here is said cheer!

They have a big TV screen (you know, the thing that you mostly look at when you go to American sporting events), but they rarely use it. The only things they use it for are advertisements, showing people in the crowd, and replays when a batter gets a hit (but only of the batter hitting the ball – never of the fielders) – that’s it. If the pitcher burns the batter on a full count, the screen remains black. If something crazy happens (like when the pitcher tried to pick off the runner leading off first, but he overthrew the first baseman, and the runner stole second) the screen remains black. If there was a close call (like when I could have sworn the runner slid past home plate before the catcher tagged him) the screen remains black. I understand not wanting to distract fans with a live feed of the game (the way the screen does in America), but please, show a replay when something interesting happens. Sheesh…

That night, we stayed at a manga café (see the previous post), but I had to leave on the early side, or they would have charged me extra. So, I left before 8 in the morning and wandered around. You expect Tokyo to have throngs of people, and flashing lights, and loud, in-your-face advertisements, but at 8 o’clock in the morning, the city is dead – like that scene from Vanilla Sky. It was really cool wandering around the (seemingly) abandoned city. It felt like a totally different place. Of course, there was still a half-hour wait outside the Krispy Kreme (the only location in Japan, I think). That place is always busy.

[1. my capsule 2. part of the huge electronics store 3. elvis-type dudes in Harajuku - that's really his hair 4. wedding procession 5. Harajuku people at the temple]

So Strange...

So, I'm in Tokyo right now. It's midnight, and I've decided to stay the night. The only reasonably priced options are capsule hotels (just like they sound - more on them later), love hotels (also just like they sound), and manga cafes (not like they sound). I'm in a manga cafe right now. Essentially, you rent out a little cubicle with a padded floor and a computer. They have DVDs and games and manga (Japanese comic books) that you can watch or read. Generally you pay $3 per hour to hang out in these places, but at night, they charge $13 to stay over. So, here I am, in my little padded cubicle, with my computer and my PS2. Soon, I'll curl up on the floor and try to get $13 dollars worth of sleep for the night (or, if that fails, $13 worth of DVDs, games, and comics). Japan is so strange.

My Trash Situation is Seriously Messed-Up

I just spent the better part of an hour cutting up a bunch of milk and juice cartons so I could tie them together in a bundle. You see, trash can’t simply be thrown away in this country – it has to be sorted and prepped first. I have a whole pamphlet (in Japanese) on how to sort my trash, and a detailed calendar of when each type of trash is picked up.

Ok, so there’s burnables (regular trash – food, clothes, some other stuff – picked up on Mondays and Fridays – that’s the easy stuff), paper (cardboard and things – picked up once every two weeks), plastics (bags, packaging, and stuff – not bottles though – picked up once every two weeks), cartons (need to be washed, cut flat, and tied together – picked up once a month), metal (aluminum has to be separated from steel – picked up once a month), plastic bottles (the labels need to be peeled off (those are plastic) – picked up once a month), glass bottles (clear bottles, brown bottles, and other colored bottles need to be in separate bags – picked up once a month), and, finally, broken glass and lightbulbs (picked up once every three months). That’s eleven separate places that trash needs to be stored before it gets picked up (I have a trash can for burnables, a special blue mesh bag for plastics, a blue tub for plastic bottles, a bag for steel, a bag for aluminum, etc…). It’s ridiculous.

Plus, I keep forgetting when certain things need to go out. Last month, I missed ‘carton’ day, so I had a huge pile up while waiting for the next pickup date. I keep forgetting to put out my plastics. The paper’s been piling up. My house is full of trash. If it gets much worse, I’m just gonna drive it over to the convenient store and stealthily deposit it in their trash cans…

Did I mention that there are no trashcans in this country? Only outside convenient stores and other select places. Even on the streets in Tokyo. Need to throw something away? Are you in a building or on a street? Tough. No trash cans. Can you imagine that? If there weren’t trashcans every half-block in New York or any other American city, people would just throw their trash in the street. Only Japanese people are polite enough to carry their trash around with them, and then hoard it in neat little piles in their houses.

The Tea Lady

Every school has its own “Tea Lady”. The tea lady hangs out in the tea room (teachers break room) and sets out food and drinks (tea) for the teachers. She also leaves a hot mug of tea of everyone’s desk in the morning. Every time I walk into an elementary school, their tea lady gives me a class of iced tea. Every time!

The tea lady at our junior high school is really cool. She speaks perfect English. In fact, before she became the tea lady at the school a year and a half ago, she taught English conversation at a private school in Kofu (for some reason she had to work closer to her house – a family issue, I think). She even lived for several years in Northern California. Its really nice – when I have nothing to do, I can hang out with her in the tea room.

It’s really good to have people who have been to America in the office (her and Kae). They can see the ridiculousness of certain things that happen around the school (I’m talking about the things that happen to me). For instance, having me cut bamboo or do a “folk” dance with the students. For the other Japanese people in the office, that’s perfectly normal. Why shouldn’t the children do a random, bizarre “folk” dance? Why shouldn’t the American join them? At least Kae and the tea lady have the wherewithal to laugh…

Japanese TV Part 2

Japanese TV is so dumb… Most of the shows that are on in prime time are variety/clip shows. They have a panel of, like, D-list Japanese celebrities (people with minor roles on TV shows, people in commercials, people that have just become sort of famous for being on these clip shows) watch clips of random subject matters (ranging from human interest stories, to short dramas, to cooking segments, to comedy skits). Sometimes, a person from the panel will have a clip that they star in (like, one woman took some kids to Brazil to capture and eat an electric eel in order to see if it was “delicious”). Throughout the clips, there is a little corner of the screen that is devoted to showing the reaction of the “celebrity” panel to these clips (the JETs have affectionately called it “the emotion box”). So, the show is half about these random clips, and half about what low-level Japanese TV personalities think about the clips. Its weird.

Another popular format is the “D-list celebrities doing wacky things – mostly eating, though” type show. A panel of semi-recognizable Japanese TV personalities play weird games against one another. Most of the games involve eating (almost all these variety shows involve food in some way – every time a turn on the TV I see I shot of food, someone eating, or someone talking about eating). For example, one show had each member of the panel receive a different dish, and then they talked about the food and rated it. Another show had two teams compete in an eating competition where one person tried to feed the other from behind (the hands are trying to feed the face, but the hands belong to someone else, and that someone else can’t see). I guess its equal to (or slightly dumber) than American television.

"Jona-san"

On Monday, I had a day off (because I had to work over the weekend for the school festival). I had to go into Kofu to get my re-entry permit. So, when the school secretary overheard that I’d be in town, she insisted on having lunch with me – even though she doesn’t speak any English (it took forever for her to communicate that she wanted to get lunch). So, we met at a chain restaurant called Jonathan’s (which is very similar to Denny’s – they even have Denny’s in the this country). (Why call it “Jonathan’s”? No Japanese person can pronounce that name. They say “Jona-san”. If Kae hadn’t’ve stepped in to correctly pronounce it, I would have spent an entire afternoon looking for “Jona-san”.) Lunch actually went ok. She brought an electronic dictionary. So, with that and my tiny bit of Japanese, we could sort of communicate. The food wasn’t terrible either. I got pasta with “American sauce” (which is like a red cream sauce with crab in it). I think its hilarious that there are American style chain restaurants all over Japan.

School Festival: Day Two

The second day of the festival was so much better than the first – for so many reasons (some of them humiliating). The day started off with a bang – a rousing rendition of “We Are the World” – sung in broken Engrish. When the song ended there was a halfhearted call for an encore, so the band came back on and performed a literal encore – they played the same song again. At the end of the song, the two kids playing guitar each played a one-measure heavy metal solos (like, the band hits its last note, and then, all of a sudden, there’s 6 seconds of totally out of place wailing guitar, and then the song’s over).

Then, the ninth graders had their play, which was infinitely better than the other two. They actually did things like move around, gesture with their arms, show emotion when speaking (and when not speaking), and memorize their lines. Good job, ninth graders.

Then the festival kicked it up a notch. It was time for the feats of strength (the P.E. festival) – in which the grades are pitted against one another in a variety of physical competitions. Relays and tug-of-war were pretty standard, but the P.E. festival had some tricks up its sleeve. Some highlights were, the group jump-rope (where the classes tries to collectively jump-rope as many times as they can) and two separate races where the kids’ legs are tied together (one where the kids are standing next to each other, and the other where they stand single file). But the best thing (I don’t even know what is called) is the race-to-pull-the-large-piece-of-bamboo-to-your-side. Essentially, two groups of kids start at opposite ends of a field and, when the gun goes off, race to the piece of bamboo in the middle. Then they have to pick it up and carry it to the side they started from. But both teams are pushing/pulling at the same time. It was one of the most intense things I’ve ever seen – especially the girls’ event. They’re pretty much even, so it became a fierce struggle. They’re pushing so hard that some of the littler kids got knocked down and almost trampled. The kids were screaming, but the teachers were screaming louder – “fight!!!” Wow. And afterwards, the emotions – wild cheering, crumpling into tears, the thrill of victory, the agony of defeat, the agony of having several of your ribs crushed by a large piece of bamboo. I’m pretty sure that particular activity is illegal in America.

So, after the P.E. activities, there was a closing ceremony, where they lit a bonfire and the kids stood around it. And then (and this is priceless), the kids did a “folk dance”. So, in America, when people perform an artform from another culture, there’s usually some acknowledgement of the culture of origin. Like, how the artform is used in the culture, or what the significance of the artform is. Japan seems totally oblivious to anything outside its borders. There were two “folk dances”. The first might have been Israeli because I remember the tune and doing a variation of the dance in Hebrew school way back when (but I’m not sure if it actually is of Israeli origin…). The second was like an American western line dance to the tune of “The Turkey in the Straw”. It was bizarre and totally random. Where did these folk dances come from? Why are we doing them? Maybe its best not to ask too many questions. What made it even better was (yes, you guessed it) they had me dance with the students. It was pretty humiliating, and I’m pretty sure all involved were a little uncomfortable (except, of course, the staff – who seem totally oblivious of everything). Kae got a nice laugh out of it, though. So far, I think dancing with the students has been the most awkward moment of my time here.

[1. calisthenics before the P.E. festival 2. jumping rope in unison 3. the bamboo game is brutal 4. girls crumple into a heap while teachers scream encouragment 5. kids (with their legs tied together) try to run in unison

Pictures of the "Folk Dance"

[read the above (newer) post first]






[oh man...]

School Festival: Day One

So, the first day of the school festival was today. It was kinda fun, I guess… The whole day was spent in the hot, hot gym, and the “festival” was essentially just one group performance after another. Some of them were good. One of the 9th grade homerooms put on a Stomp type show that was surprisingly good (the music teacher is their homeroom teacher, so I’m pretty sure she put the whole thing together). The brassband played (though, I didn’t have to join them). They were really good. Especially considering that the kids start playing their instruments in seventh grade. I guess if you practice for two hours a day, you’ll get good pretty fast. I think the first chair alto player is better than me… The music teacher wants me to join the club for at least a couple days a week. Hopefully it won’t be too embarrassing.

Really, only the things that the music teacher had a hand in were good, the rest was utter crap. I was exposed to a unique form of Japanese torture called the “junior high school play”. Wow. Talk about a lack of direction… It was essentially the kids just standing still on the stage, with their arms at their sides, trying to remember their lines. And the plays were totally incomprehensible (even to the people who spoke Japanese). Something about cutting off hands and eyes and then they heal, but it’s a scam (?)… Something about a girl who dies in an accident and is resurrected in people-she-knows’ bodies (what happens to the spirits of the people whose bodies she takes over?)… They went on forever too.

That was pretty much the whole day. The gym was sweltering and I had to wear a shirt and tie (to give a good impression to the Board of Education people – who came for the opening ceremony and then bolted before the plays got started). The teachers saw that I had a nice camera, so I sort of became the official unofficial photographer. They wanted me to take as many pictures as humanly possible, but how many pictures can you have of kids standing expressionless and motionless on a stage? A ton apparently…


[1. a typical example of a moment from a play 2. the brass band 3. boys are bored by brass band 4. "stomp 5. they made this gigantic sign out of flattened milk cartens that you can see from my house]

A Typical (?) Friday at School

So, today, I’m trying to figure out what the hell I’m going to do for elementary school classes next week, and I get interrupted by the school secretary who eventually communicates that she wants me to come to the PTA chorus practice. The practice is tonight (in an hour actually) and it is the final practice before the performance – tomorrow. Yeah, thanks for the advanced notice. So, I learned the song in the tearoom with a bunch of other teachers singing to me. They really love to put me on the spot. Maybe they think foreigners can do anything… They kind of treat me like the new toy in the office that everyone has to share.

Speaking of which, later in the afternoon, I’m (again) trying to do my elementary lesson, when they come up to me and say (essentially) “Are you busy? Of course not. Why don’t you go cut some bamboo.” So they send me to this path behind the school with another teacher and expect me to cut back all the overgrown bamboo. Keep in mind that, per the dresscode, I’m wearing khaki pants, a collared shirt, and nice shoes (why do they want me to look presentable while doing yardwork?). So, there I am, trudging through the bamboo forest, in my Rockports, with my handsaw and my handsaw-scabbard, hacking away at bamboo. It was great…

Japanese Lesson

On Wednesday I had a Japanese lesson. My teacher is this old Japanese man who used to be the principal of the junior high school I work at. He just sort of showed up one day and said he would be teaching me Japanese for $10 a lesson. This was totally planned without my consent and they just sort of assumed that I would want/accept the lessons. The guy speaks almost no English, but he said his wife would make me dinner sometimes, so I figured I’d give it a try. The first lesson went ok (no dinner by the way). He sort of taught me things I already knew (like “good morning” – which I have to say everyday – “thank you”, “sorry”, “hi my name is”, “I come from…”) but insisted on teaching me them anyway, and then got impressed when I repeated them back so quickly. I feel like I could more efficiently teach myself these things, but I think I’ll hold out and see if they become worthwhile… At least they’ll provide some material for this blog (for $10 a lesson)…

Elementary School

This week was my first week of elementary school classes. It worked out pretty well, but I have no idea what I’m doing. I just did a self-intro type lesson where I showed them pictures of people and things from back home. So, if you come to Japan, there is a chance that about 40 Japanese children will recognize you.

They were particularly impressed with the size of our house – I tried to tell them that houses are just bigger in America, but they insisted that I was rich. Also, they got a kick out of the fact that I drove a Honda. I taught them some grammar, and then played a card game where they break into groups, and I lay cards with the pictures on them infront of them. I call out the name of something on the card (like, “my family”) and the first one to slap gets the card. It was kind of funny watching them slap pictures of everybody. The kids liked the game, so I think the lesson went well. But I have no idea what I’m going to do for next week.

A Japanese Sunday

On Sunday, Adam, Morgan, and I went to the Minobu-san Temple. Its this cool old temple at the top of, like, two-hundred stairs. At the base, there is a little, old street with suvenior shops and stuff. Morgan and I bought wooden Kendo swords. Afterwards, Adam took us to this little restaurant in my town (because his Japanese is so good, he can do a lot more exploring, and he’s been to every little hole-in-the-wall restaurant in the area). The food was really good. I even tried horse meat. Yeah, the Japanese eat horses. Weird. It tasted just like beef. Then, we went to Morgan’s and they showed me a Japanese TV show where a comedian tries to beat classic Nintendo video games in one sitting. It took him, like, 14 straight hours to beat Super Mario Bros. 2 and way longer to beat Ghosts and Goblins. The guy’s kinda bad at video games and sometimes his younger assistants have to help him beat things (they even coach him on strategies using a white board).

The Coolest JTE in the Prefecture

I have the coolest JTE in the prefecture. On Saturday night her and one of her friends came out with us to one of the restaurant/bars in Minobu – something most Japanese teachers wouldn’t do. She even gave people hugs. Hugs! Japanese people don't hug - too awkward. They just bow profusely.

A Corrupting Influence

My predecessor, Adam, came back to Japan. I met him and some other guys at a little restaurant about ten minutes from my apartment. He seems like a really nice guy. I’m not quite sure why the staff at the school has such a strong dislike of him. The next morning, I mentioned to Kae that I met him. Somehow that news got around the office, because later in the day, the principal had a little chat with Kae about how he was afraid that if I hung around Adam, he would corrupt me. They really didn’t like him.

Sushi

The sushi restaurants here are very different than they are in America. Though, it could just be the ones that we’ve gone to… We’ve been to (I think exclusively) chain sushi restaurants. At these places, the sushi comes out of the kitchen on a little conveyer belt that snakes alongside all the booths (like luggage at an airport). When you see something you like, you just take it. If you want something special, or something that you don’t see on the belt, you push the button on your table and a waiter comes to take your order. When you’re done, the waiter comes and counts your plates to determine the bill (its about a dollar per plate).

Only in Japan, right? A place like that would never make enough money to stay open in America. People would just take the food and leave the plates on the conveyer belt. There’d be no way to tell how much food you had, and no way to figure out who left the empty plate on the belt. It only works in Japan because the people are (for the most part) honest.

With the exception of one, the food hasn’t been terribly good at these places. I have yet to visit a proper sushi restaurant.

[The picture, by the way, is of hamburger sushi, from the sushi chain "Kappa Sushi".]

JETs are Nerds

All of them. Some more so than others, but everyone’s got a little nerd in them. Almost every plays videogames (not casually), and the ones that don’t are nerdy in other ways. Some play Dungeons & Dragons every weekend, some are obsessed with anime and manga, and others love electronics. I knew I was in nerd land when I started talking Final Fantasy music with the guy who (beforehand) seemed like he was too cool to be on this program. And I really knew I was in nerd land when the guy who made his own suit of chainmail asked a group of us if we knew what the design of the chainmail was based off of, and the girl, who had previously shown no obvious signs of excessive nerdiness, yelled out “white mage!” (from Final Fantasy). Who else would come to Japan, right?

We Engrishi Lovu!

The Japanese are obsessed with English words. They love them. Every t-shirt I see has English on it, magazine covers all have English, and product labels use English too. There’s even more English if you count the katakana. Katakana is a set of Japanese letters used to write foreign words. So, you see some Japanese, realize its katakana, and then you can try to decode what the English is. The thing is, Japanese has a fraction of the sounds that English does, so the katakana letters can’t accurately represent English. So, the English represented by katakana is not actually English – it’s Japenglish. I have to go over a word a bunch of times and repeat it out loud before I can understand what the English is supposed to be. It’s like a little game (but the stakes are fairly high – Is this “shi chiken” (a.k.a. tuna)? or some horrible, horrible abomination?).

There are so many borrowed English words in Japanese. They’ve even gone to the extent of replacing Japanese words with Japenglish ones. What’s the Japanese word for “orange” (the color)? Who knows, it’s “orenji” now. How do you say “door” in Japanese? Who cares, they write “doa” on them in katakana.

You’d think with all these English words, they’d be able to write or speak English, right? No. Even with their love of English words, they have a complete inability to put them together to form anything coherent. Here is are some samples: from some lotion packaging – “It puts the lotion on its back.” From a ‘curriculum’ that was given to me by an elementary school principal – “Let a mouth learn English aloud well. I let a mouth learn English conversation! Even if I do not learn a character, please learn a sound.” From the same ‘curriculum’ – “Please become the one where a mother answers as possible at first. The English thing which I do not understand is Japanese, and please answer. It is practiced what.” How am I supposed to design lessons based on that?!

Bugs!

The bugs in this country are huge. The beetles are enormous, some of the crickets are 3-4 inches long, the stinging insects are twice as big as in America, and the dragonflies are like hummingbirds. Yet, Japanese people seem to be totally unfazed by them. Giant wasps fly in and out of the staffroom without anyone batting an eye. Students only notice the beetles when the start making horrible sounds in class. When I was in one of the elementary schools, meeting the principal, there was a huge prehistoric-size dragonfly trying to smash its way through the ceiling. They didn’t even look up.

Classes!

There’s another JTE here. She’s only part time, and no one ever seems to know when she’s going to show up. Also, her English is horrible. I have no idea how she manages to teach the subject. They track the English classes here, so Kae takes the more advanced kids, and Hoyuri takes the slow ones.

In the middle school classes, I don’t really have much to do. I say good morning to the students, wait for Kae (or Hoyuri) to finish their spiel in Japanese, then they tell me what to read or say. Sometimes its reading new words and having the students repeat, sometimes its doing listening exercises, and other times its explaining and conducting a game (for the advanced kids – the slow ones can barely say “my name is”). Its pretty easy.

Kae lets me come up with games and warm-up activities for class, which is good. She’s really open to new ideas. I have a feeling that by the end of the year, she may even let me run a couple classes (teach grammar lessons and stuff). Hoyuri is part time, so she doesn’t really give a crap about anything. If I showed up and said, “I want to play this game,” she’d let me (less work for her, right?). But she’s also just as happy teaching right from the textbook and treating me like a human tape-recorder – just telling me to read this or that (which she can barely even communicate).

Kae already has me grading papers. I graded the 8th graders summer assignment, and the 7th graders fifty-word quiz. That quiz… oh boy… I feel bad for these kids trying to learn to spell English words. But some of these kids… oh man, I got some “herro”s (instead of “hello”). “Table” was the most frequently misspelled word, and “father” was an absolute disaster. Most of the kids left that one blank. Two of the kids’ (who, Kae latter told me, have learning disabilities) I didn’t even grade – I just felt too bad.

The Opposite of Beck

The whole school has a very cozy atmosphere. There are only about 120 students and 15 staff members (excluding the kitchen staff). So, everyone really knows one another. It feels like a community, rather than just a place that the kids go during the day. This school couldn’t be any more different from Beck. Everything is the opposite.

Lunch!

So, everyday, I eat lunch with the students. The setup is really interesting. Just like the students clean the school themselves, the students set up lunch too. They set out all the trays, serve the food, put it on the trays, get the milk (the drink is always milk – no matter what they’re eating), get the chopsticks, etc. They all wear bandanas and aprons while doing this. I try to help, but I feel like I mostly just get in the way. Kae gave me an apron, but I don’t yet have a bandana. The lunch itself is pretty good – rice usually, some kind of soup, other things I can’t identify… Sometimes there’s some weird stuff I stay away from. Yesterday there was this congealed potato stuff cut into wedges. It didn’t really have a taste, but the texture was a little disturbing. It’s wiggly, like jello, but offers more resistance, like rubber. It doesn’t really break down in your mouth either… It was weird.
After lunch, the kids clean up the place. Uneaten food is dumped back into the empty containers, bowls and plates are stacked, milk bottles put away, tables wiped, etc. The kids are pretty efficient.

"Special Class"

The kids are very busy preparing for their school festival. I’m not totally sure what the school festival is, I just know that it involves playing sports and music, putting on a play, doing a dance, synchronized jumping rope, banging on drums, and running around a track with everyone’s legs tied together. Each day until the school festival (on Sept. 8th and 9th) is only half a day of classes and the other half is filled with the above activities. So, today I had literally nothing to do. No junior high classes. No elementary school classes. I did some gardening with the P.E. teacher and the retarded girl. That’s her “special class”.

School!

On the first day of school, I had to give a speech at the opening ceremony. I think it went pretty well. Most of it was in English, and Kae translated for everyone. Not being able to keep track of all the formalities and stuff, I feel like a moron. Kae keeps having to signal to me, “bow,” “stand up,” “sit down,” “take your hands out of your pockets.” I just try to smile a lot to smooth things over.

After the ceremony, the students had to go clean the school (at the end of each school day, the kids clean the school for about twenty-minutes – I guess so they don’t have to hire a janitorial staff). I went to visit the elementary schools I’ll be teaching at (finally). Everyone at the elementary schools is very nice, and the kids are very cute, but I’ll be in charge of 5th and 6th grade English instruction at three different schools. In junior high classrooms, I am an assistant, but in the elementary school classes, I run the show. The homeroom teachers don’t speak English, so I’m on my own. It should be interesting…

On Tuesday I had my first day of classes. In junior high I did a self introduction and showed some pictures. Kae had the kids fill out a worksheet, answering questions about the things I said. Even though the kids are really shy, it went really smoothly.
Then, I went to one of the elementary schools for classes. This Australian guy, Peter, kind of led the classes to ease me into it (which was good). Peter has been teaching elementary school kids English for ten years. He has a company that places private English teachers with schools. He was there to help out one of his employees (the husband of a new JET who’s teaching 3rd and 4th grades at the school’s I’ll be at). So, he gave me a hand too. He was really, really good – a tough act to follow. I’ll be on my own next week. Oh boy…

(S)SETY

Thursday was the first day of the SETY (Summer Semester for English Teachers in Yamanashi – yeah, we lost an “S” in there somehow) conference. It’s mainly for the JTEs (Japanese Teachers of English) but all the JETs have to show up for it. They split us into smaller groups (15 – 20) and we do little activities. Thursday was mainly icebreakers. We had to bring in an object that was “important to us”. Then, everyone received a random someone else’s object and had to try to guess who’s it was. I think its mainly to get the JTEs to speak English with native speakers.

After that, we broke up into even smaller groups (3 – 5) to make a skit/commercial using someone in the group’s “important item”. I was in a group with two other JTEs, so I pretty much had to take the lead (as they were shy Japanese women who’s English wasn’t exactly stellar). One of the women brought in Pokemon figurines (that her kids played with) and we made up a skit based on them (in the skit/commercial, the Pokemon were “Working Monsters” that you purchased based on your profession – a teacher would buy a teacher working monster – and when you activated it, it would turn into a you-lookalike and go to your job for you). It was a silly idea, but the skit turned out to be kind of funny. We had to perform it in front of our larger group (the 15 person one). Then we all voted on the one that would eventually be performed for everyone (almost 200 people). Of course, no group voted for their own, but somehow, almost everyone (except for those of us in my group) voted for us. Great… So, we performed our skit in front of the whole crowd. With a little bit of improvising, we won (by vote of applause – hardly an accurate statistical method). A pretty good first day… Oh, and I got paid that day. Almost $3,000 – and, other than winning the skit contest, I haven’t done a thing yet.

Too Little Too Late

On Monday and Tuesday we finally had local orientation (something we really should have had as soon as we arrived from Tokyo). We got a chance to meet the Group B people (the people that came into the country a week after us – so, a thousand new JETs came in with Group A – my group – and another thousand that came in a week later). All told, there are now 32 new JETs in Yamanashi. Because we’ve already spent a lot of time together in our smaller groups, the people from Groups A and B were slow to mingle, and even now, they sort of feel like new people. Its funny how fast you make friends and stick with those friends when you’re in a new situation.

The orientation was in Kofu and started off with our meeting the Vice Governor of Yamanshi. We all had to wear suits and stuff for this occasion. It was pretty boring though. Some speeches were made, words exchanged, blah, blah, blah. There were some TV cameras there, and photographers too. I think we ended up on the local news, and in the Yamanashi newspaper.

Then we went to a fruit museum (or some such thing). Yamanashi is apparently a large producer of fruits (especially grapes and peaches, but not pears – even though Yamanashi means “mountain of pears” there are hardly any pears grown here). The Vice Governor, in his speech, went so far as to say that Yamanashi had become a “Kingdom of Fruit”. We thought we might get to meet the Fruit King... It was pretty swealtering walking around outside the fruit park in our suits, and there wasn’t even any fruit to sample…

Later we went to a Yamanashi history museum. Again, all the exhibits were in Japanese, but we were led around by a tour guide who was translated by one of our CIRs. That night, we got to stay in a hotel, and we each got our own rooms. Even though we were exhausted and had to get up early the next morning, we all went out that night. The area of Kofu we were in was pretty dead, so we ended up walking the mile to The Vault (a Kofu bar run by an Australian guy). It was a good time. We finally got to mix with the Group B people. It turns out that some of them are pretty cool, but by the end of the night, it was only Group A people left in the bar.

Kuruma Arimasen

Later that night, after going to a party at a bar in Kofu, a few of us went to a McDonald’s (yes they have them here, and you can get a shrimp burger) drive through – without a car. When we walked up to the window, Dave (who’s Irish – which is why everything he says is funny) said to the guy “Sumimasen, kuruma arimasen”, which literally means “sorry, car does not exist” (practically, it means, “sorry, we don’t have a car”, but the literal translation strikes me funny). The attendant there (at 3 in the morning) was really chipper and helpful. He wore his McDonald’s uniform with pride. That seems to be a theme here in Japan – there are no ‘bad’ jobs, and everyone takes their job really seriously. People take satisfaction in wearing their work uniforms (and there is a heavy emphasis on uniforms). Whereas someone working at a McDonald’s drive through at 3 in the morning in the middle of nowhere in America would be annoyed and surely when a group of foreigners walked up to the drive-through window, this Japanese guy in the same situation tried his best to give us an excellent McDonald’s experience.

A Day Trip to Tokyo

On Sunday, some other new JETs and I went over to Tokyo. We took the bus from Kofu. It takes about two hours to get from there to Shinjuku station. There’s not much to tell – we didn’t do all that much – just sort of walked around and got lost a lot. We did manage to make it to Moiri Tower, where you can see a 360 degree view of Tokyo. It was pretty cool. Tokyo doesn’t have nearly as many skyscrapers as Manhattan. Most of the buildings are pretty low, actually. The city is made of up many smaller neighborhoods connected by a labyrinth of roads. It would be a nightmare to try to drive around Tokyo – it’s hard enough to walk. The streets are not gridded. In fact, there’s no order to them whatsoever. Most don’t even have names. There are just streets – going in all different directions. I hear the taxi drivers get lost sometimes.
The subway system isn’t much simpler. I shouldn’t say “subway system”, but rather “subway systems”. Yes, there are two separate subway lines. Not like “red line”, “blue line”, but two wholly different subway systems that overlap each other. One is run by JR, a huge Japanese transportation company that runs most of the trains in the country, and the other is run by (I think) the Tokyo Bureau of Transportation. They each have a ton of different colored lines going all over the city, but they are separate from each other. You need two completely different subway maps to navigate, and each one is ridiculously complicated in and of itself. It took us a while to figure out how to get around…

[Ok, so I think the pictures require some explaination. One is a street in Harajuku that had some insanely nice shops. One is an intense-looking bus. One is the famed crosswalk in Shibuya, where like, a thousand people cross at once when the light changes. One is a Kevin standing in front of a Masked Rider subway poster. And the last one is one of the views of the city from Moiri tower.]

Fireworks

On Tuesday night I met the other Yamanashi JETs at the fireworks festival. The fireworks were definitely the best I’ve ever seen. Instead of one big fireworks show that sort of pulls out all the stops (like in America), the festival consisted of smaller shows. In between, a Japanese women would give a speech (I think about the sponsor of the upcoming display). Each little show was perfectly choreographed. The ones that were set to music were done so that the firework cues matched (almost) perfectly with the soundtrack. It was really impressive – especially since we were sitting so freakin close to the fireworks themselves. They were literally right overhead. During one of the shows, a burning ember landed, like, fifty yards infront of us.

A Busy Tuesday

So, this afternoon I had lunch with Kae, my JTE. Beforehand, she showed me around Nakatomi Junior High, the school I’ll primarily be working at. The school is on a mountain overlooking the town. The view is incredible. The school itself is three stories. It’s a lot more friendly looking than American junior high schools (Beck certainly doesn’t come to mind). Except for science, music, and PE, the kids stay in their homeroom all day and the teachers come to them. Without lockers, it kind of feels more like an elementary school. One interesting feature to the school was the abundance of helmets in all the classrooms. You know, for earthquakes. They apparently strike about once every two months.

The kids are now on summer break, which means they don’t go to classes but instead participate in clubs everyday. The dedication of these kids is unbelievable. Kae took me to the gym where the badminton team was practicing. The badminton team, by the way, is all girls (the boys play baseball), and they could flat out ruin me in badminton. I’ve never seen anyone (let alone a thirteen year old Japanese girl) hit a birdie so hard. They were crushing that freaking thing. Our junior high has the first and third best badminton players in Yamanashi.

I met the music/band teacher, whose name I have since forgotten. Since I put it on my JET application, everyone in the school knows that I play saxophone – especially the band teacher. She wants me to play in some sort of school festival. I told her I didn’t have my horn with me. She said they had extra ones at school. I tried to tell her that I was really rusty, but she didn’t seem to care. She gave me the sheet music. Great… If the girls in brass band (its all girls, I guess ALL of boys are busy with baseball) are anywhere near as good as the ones on the badminton team, this is going to be really embarrassing…
After showing me around the school, Kae had to go to the local firestation to visit some students who were learning about what its like to be a fireman for a day (or something… I’m still not really clear on what we were doing there). When we walked in, the kids were busy performing CPR on a dummy, so we started chatting with one of the head fireman. After finding out that I was from Philadelphia, the guy kept saying “Rocky!” to me and punching the air. After the kids finished their lesson, the firefighters took it upon themselves to enthusiastically show me every piece of equipment in the station. They took me into the ambulance and took my blood pressure and monitored how much oxygen was getting to my fingers (?!). Apparently not enough – I was six points below average. Then, they insisted on having me try on all of their firefighting equipment. I tried on the fireproof jacket (even though it was like 95 degrees out). Then they strapped an oxygen tank to my back and put this giant, face-covering mask on my head and had me breathe through it for a minute (though there was enough air in the tank to last another twelve). Kae just sort of stood by and acted as my translator through the whole thing. I’m still not sure why we went there in the first place. Kae barely talked to the kids. I think the Japanese are on a mission to humiliate me.